Yesterday I found myself looking at the internships offered by the centre of international mobility. There was an internship at the Finnish Institute in London that I'd been looking at some months ago, and I had even written the application deadline down in my calendar. I read through the job description and requirements, and started drafting a CV. But then I stopped to think.
Why am I doing this? I already realised at some point during this past year that where I am at the moment may not be such a bad place to be, and I'm not sure if I want to keep moving to new countries and building new lives for myself, at least not at the moment. So do I really want to do an internship at the Finnish Institute in London, or am I simply looking at internships abroad out of habit? Am I trying to cling on to the last strands of student life with all my strength? Because those have to be the worst reasons there are!
As I went through the practicalities of an internship in my head - not even the fun stuff, like living in London, but the complicated stuff, like what to do with my flat and my things - I realised that I'm not really feeling it. And as I took it further I realised that there really is no point for me to a) uproot myself yet again for a period of only a few months, and b) do unpaid work and try to survive on student benefits and small scholarships.
If I want to move to London (or Scotland, or wherever), I can do so for a real job that pays real money. And to be honest, at the moment I'm not even sure if I want to. I'm not saying my wandering days are over, but maybe, right now, this is where I'm supposed to be.